


Call It What You Want

by missbritannica



Series: The reputation Songfics [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Based on a Taylor Swift Song, F/M, Fix-It, Fluff, Force Bond (Star Wars), Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Song: Call It What You Want (Taylor Swift), Songfic, not even a subtle songfic, this is my first fic ok idk what else to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:01:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23668051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missbritannica/pseuds/missbritannica
Summary: When Rey doesn't come back after Exegol, Finn naturally worries. Until he receives her letter.Songfic based not at all subtly on Taylor Swift's 'Call It What You Want'
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: The reputation Songfics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1704187
Comments: 15
Kudos: 63





	Call It What You Want

He hadn’t heard from her for months.

After the battle on Exegol, when they’d finally got safely back to base, he’d looked for her. Because even with Poe, and Rose, and now Jannah, Rey was always Finn’s greatest friend.

He knew if he was trained, he could’ve used the Force to sense her. Knew that she would shine like the sunbeams that seemed to come from her mouth every time she laughed. But the only person that could’ve helped him had died to save her son, a monster that Finn just _knew_ had something to do with Rey’s disappearance. He’d seen her on Crait- and after- constantly distant. Since she’d journeyed to Ahch-To to find Luke Skywalker, something had changed in her. He’d heard her in her quarters after dark, crying when she thought no one could hear.

He could only hope that if Kylo Ren had killed her, she’d died peacefully.

Part of him, the part he’d been so desperate to tell Rey about before he lost the chance, told him that that wasn’t the case. Even if it made him feel uneasy, he’d seen the way they’d looked at each other on the wreck of the Death Star. Whilst they fought with their bodies, their eyes communicated a different feeling. Whatever they were, had been, it wasn’t the enemies they had claimed to be anymore.

It was late one night, when he’d been tossing and turning beside Poe’s snoring form, that he finally heard from her again.

BB8 had been chasing him all day after returning from a standard trade-relations meeting on another planet with Poe, and whilst he knew something was up, he put it down to Poe’s trip, maybe that his suave ways hadn’t worked as well as they usually did. He’d decided to leave it, to ask Poe in the morning and let them both get some much-needed rest. When BB whirred over to their shared bunk however, it became clear that the matter was a little more pressing. He still couldn’t decipher much droidspeak despite Poe’s patient lessons, but when BB8’s front panel popped open to reveal a letter with his name in Rey’s child-like penmanship, he understood why the droid had been so adamant in seeing him.

With a grateful nod to BB, he slipped out of his bunk, careful not to disturb Poe. Whilst he loved him, and he knew that Poe cared about Rey, he needed to read whatever the letter said alone. It was only after finding a quiet spot outside in the moonslight and holding the letter tightly to his chest for longer than he’d like to admit, that Finn opened it, and tentatively began to read.

*

‘Finn,’

Her fingers hovered above the page, pen held clumsily in hand. It felt like only days since she’d learned to write, to read the texts Leia showed her, and even less since she’d been on Jakku, drowning in sand and loneliness.

She still had nightmares, woke more nights than not in cold sweats and tears. Sometimes it came from the guilt- she’d found a family in Finn, and abandoned him without any warning. The drafts of her letters had flowed steadily into the trash compactor until she finally, frustrated, found a quiet spot with her thoughts (and truly more green than she ever thought she’d see, even on this dense, beautiful planet). She meditated and only then knew what she had to tell him.

‘I’m so sorry for leaving. Believe me, if I could’ve avoided it, I would’ve, but after Exegol, I couldn’t come back. Please, read what I have to say, and you’ll understand.

I thought that I’d found my home with you guys, the base, with Luke and Leia. But the truth is that they died for a girl who didn’t deserve it.

I was a junkrat. A nobody. I still can’t understand why I have this- the Force- and I maybe never will. All it had given me was more weight on my shoulders, and I know you’ll protest but it was true Finn. The call to the light, and the dark, was a decision that I couldn’t ever make. The light was so clear, and it felt right. You all told me it was what was right. And the dark was wrong- it felt wrong, like a never-ending pit had opened up in my stomach and was swallowing me from the inside. But it drew me in all the same- and it was terrifying, knowing I had some connection with the very thing everyone was telling me to avoid.’

It was at this moment, deep in her scribbles, that the server slammed down her blue star milk with more force than was necessary. Even with her ears finely tuned to the balmy breeze of the bustling city she’d found herself in, she hadn’t heard their approach she’d been so focused. Taking a cautious sip, she gripped the pen again, determined to not let her thoughts overtake her need to remain alert. Even with the semi-sheer scarf covering the bottom half of her face, Rey was constantly worried that someone from her past would recognise her here on Naboo. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to see them- she longed for the day that she could return to everyone- but that the Force told her it wasn’t time.

‘I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to tell you what happened that night on Exegol. Palpatine- my grandfather, I keep reminding myself- was more powerful than any of us could have ever thought. If I’d been alone Finn, I’d be dead, or worse, his slave. But I wasn’t.

Ben Solo saved me that night. He brought me back from the brink of death, helped me end Palpatine for once and for all. ~~I~~ We owe him our lives, Finn. I know that you hate him, and for good reason, but Kylo Ren is gone. He died on Kef Bir.

I think you should know that I’m with him now. Have been the entire time. I knew that bringing him back to the base would have ended in disaster, and while it breaks my heart, it always will. This isn’t me choosing him over you. I don’t ever want to have to make that choice.

Luke says we’re a Force dyad. I didn’t understand it at first (I still don’t, truth be told). It’s only gotten stronger, and I think being without him now would feel like a part of my own body had been ripped away. The truth is, I’m doing better than I ever was before.’

It was weird to think that after so many years of solitude, but it was true.

When she awoke again on Exegol and finally recognised Ben Solo, not the anger she’d been so scared of in Kylo Ren, she thought her heart might burst.

Looking into his eyes after their kiss (which she had butterflies at the thought of, even though it had been just hours since their last), she’d whispered ‘you saved my life.’

She could still remember, word for word, mumbling it now under her breath, how he’d shook his head in disbelief, grinning at her ‘how could I not?’

‘You won’t need to ever again’ she teased, then remembered their surroundings. Looking back at the all-consuming darkness, she shuddered, then felt the warmth of his hand covering hers.

‘Where do we go now?’

He looked like BB8 did when they’d been dismissed from a meeting- head slightly down, and the tips of his ears were stained pink from what she could feel was embarrassment. Confused, she said ‘what do you mean?’

‘I can’t go back to your base, not with Le- my mother…gone.’ The unspoken question hung heavy in the air; whether or not she wanted to stay with him or leave, go back to her friends and the life she’d built. It all seemed to pale in this moment though, and without much hesitation, she looked him in the eye, and said:

‘Run away with me. Let’s leave it all behind and just be us for a while. Ben and Rey. We could find somewhere where no one knows us, or where it’s just us alone, or-′

Feeling his lips against hers as he cut her off, she knew then that she’d never tire of this. He didn’t speak, just nodded at her, and pulled her close, safe in his arms as they observed the chaos ending above them.

*

‘I love him, Finn, and he loves me. Call it stupid, whatever you want, but we’re two parts of the same body. There’s nothing like it in the entire galaxy, as I’m sure you and Poe know by now. I’m sorry I couldn’t deliver this in person, but when I heard Poe would be on Naboo I knew I could get it to BB8 without much trouble. I promise I’ll come find you again one day, but for now, I hope you understand it has to be this way.

Forever your best friend,

Rey.’

Seeing her scrawl on the page, where his thumbs had dug into the sides of the paper and his tears had stained the ink, Finn sat stunned.

Though conflicted at the thought of his best friend being with…him, he supposed it was a better outcome than he had hoped when she failed to return previously. And Kylo- Ben – had seemed different when he saw him on Kef Bir.

He sighed, accepting that he had to just trust that Rey knew what she was doing, and with a final glance round to check the safety of the base, he walked peacefully back inside, ready for nothing more than Poe’s arms.

*

As Rey finished up her letter, signing it with a newly-learned flair that she’d asked Ben to teach her specially for her best friend, she felt that now-familiar tug on the bond that signified he was near. Looking up, she was greeted with Ben practically stalking towards her as was his awkwardly endearing style, and at the sight of him she relished in the ever-present butterflies he gave her. His head was down to avoid recognition, and though he still favoured the dark colours of his past, she saw more of Han in him every day.

As he reached her with a smirk, she realised she’d been staring and looked away, heat rising to her cheeks. Folding the letter and placing it in her pocket, she stood to leave, and when he offered her his arm without a word, she thought only of how Ben was a choice she’d make every day for as long as she lived.

**Author's Note:**

> SCREAM
> 
> This is my first fic *ever* so thank you for reading! I'd appreciate if you had any constructive criticism or kudos! I'm hoping to make this part of a collection of Reylo songfics based on the 'reputation' album so we'll see


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